The Dukes have a pulse! – Australian All-Terrain Bocce League

Stella strikes a confident pose as The Dukes of Normandy beat the Burley Hurlers 7-6 to chalk up the Dukes’ first win in 2023

OK, it took the Dukes of Normandy to get to Round 6 to do it, but they have now won a game. In glorious sunshine in Mosman Park, the Dukes (Stella playing without SNHDT) managed to eke out a win, taking down the Burley Hurlers (Barney and Serge sans Digger) by the narrowest of margins. Yes, calling for a measure on the end in question proved an astute move for Stella, as he established that his cod was a couple of inches closer to the jack, sealing the win and triggering wild celebrations in the stands and among Dukes fans watching the TV broadcast all around the world.

Stella’s earlier game caused somewhat less excitement among the Dukes Army, as Motherchucker made short work of it, prevailing 7-0.

Mochu scored another 7-0 win on the day with a forfeit win over Gonad.

Fresh from last month’s Schrodinger’s cat fiasco, ~~HRH~~ Prince Andrew II again sent a telegram to the stewards to say that he expected to be late. The message read, “I EXPECT TO BE LATE STOP DON’T START WITHOUT ME STOP FOR FUCK’S SAKE IT’S NOT MY FAULT STOP CLARE HAS THE CAR STOP SHOULD BE THERE BEFORE DARK STOP PLEASE DON’T BLAME TIDDLES STOP”

Andy did indeed turn up before dark, but only just. His scheduled opponents, Athletes for Life (Banker and RE, but no Buzz Lightbeer), were very gracious about Andy’s tardiness.

To kill time, they played nine “friendly” games with league members and unsuspecting passers-by, before reverting to crosswords and telling humorous stories. RE even took a nap for an hour or so, woken from his slumber by the sound of The Andymobile screeching to a halt as ~~HRH~~ arrived.

Andy was the only member of the Second Eleven in attendance, as Reg had managed to get his leg stuck in his back fence, and Cannonball was again attending auditions for a reality TV show. Despite lacking the support of his teammates, Andy beat AFL 7-6.

Reg sent us a very nice shot of his leg in the fence.

The Burley Hurlers scored a win by forfeit (7-0) in their other game, thanks to Better than Charles both being glued, naked, to a bus stop in Beaconsfield. Apparently there is much speculation on social media about exactly how the BTC boys wound up in that predicament. Our Dear Leader has issued a press statement, pointing out that the rumours of his involvement are baseless, and emphasising that he would never have circulated blurry photographs. He wished them both a speedy recovery.