FAQ: How’s it going?
Answer: OK, thanks
FAQ: The names of which US states begin with the letter M?
Answer: Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Wyoming, Utah and Montana
FAQ: Why do some people pronounce the name of the letter “H” as “haitch” instead of “aitch”?
Answer: They were abducted when they were babies and raised by aliens. The aliens misunderstood the alphabet and thought that the name of each letter had to begin with the sound of its letter. Their alphabet went: ay, bee, key, dee, ee, fef, ghi, haitch, I, jay, kay, lel, mem, nen, oh, pee, quoo, rar, sess, tee, uuu, vee, wouble-uuu, xex, yigh, zed. Curiously, the eighth letter seems to have made more of a lasting impression than all of the others put together.
FAQ: What does the X stand for in ”Brand X”?
Answer: Perhaps ironically, it refers to “the X factor” a genetic trait found in modern humans, which is responsible for most, but not all, of the superhumans on earth.
FAQ: What’s with Serge and Gary Puckett? What’s that all about?
Answer: Hey! One question each. You’re confusing me.
FAQ: Is it true that Serge and Gary Puckett were twins separated at birth?
Answer: No. They were triplets. There is a sibling out there, somewhere. Even now, he may be operating on someone and humming “Young Girl”.
FAQ: Do you know what time it is?
Answer: Yes
FAQ: How’s life?
Answer: Ah. Well it’s like this. You get born, run about for a bit and go to school. Work for a time, reproduce, hurl a few metal balls around the paddock, fall over, expire.
FAQ: How’s it hanging?
Answer: How rude! Sorry, you caught me off guard. I may have to consult my physician, Gary Puckett.
FAQ: How’s it going?
Answer: National debt has like been reduced and the flow on benefits of reduced interest rates and strong economic growth are like presenting new opportunities for us all. Despite the nation’s strong economic outlook we must like acknowledge that in some communities, economic improvements alone are like not enough. The impacts of globalisation have created like an unprecedented need to adapt at like a faster pace. We are experiencing like rapidly advancing technology, changes in the way business and services are delivered, changes in population dynamics, and increasing demands on physical and social infrastructure. This impact is being experienced like worldwide, as well as in Australia and in particular by our rural, regional, remote and like urban fringe communities. It is clear that much of Australia’s identity is drawn like from our regions. It is like essential that this integral role is like recognised, respected and fostered beyond like the 21st century. Historically they generated the wealth to like found this nation. By adapting to the varying strengths of each region, agriculture, business and industry have like grown, producing like a rich diversity of regional life, like unique in many ways to its location. All-terrain bocce has a vital role to play, and will continue to like dominate the nation’s sporting landscape. So, it’s like going OK I suppose.
FAQ: Howzat?
Answer: What about the aliens, or our own descendants, armed with time cameras? I think time cameras should be possible. In fact, actual time machines should be possible. Certain physicists aside, a blind prejudice against “global causality violations” is not an argument sufficient to overcome the fact that a closed time-like curve – time travel – is explicitly permitted by general relativity. This one gets even more complicated than the Fermi paradox or the matrix hypothesis, since we don’t know any of the rules for time travel. It does appear that, under most theories, you can’t go back to a time before you built the time machine, which is bad news for dead people. On the other hand, we might be able to find an existing time machine or a natural phenomenon (like a rotating black hole) that could be used to go back to before the dawn of human sentience.