Yes, Motherchucker made the grand final yet again in 2024, but the finals belonged to Stormballs, as SNHDT and Cannonball swept all before them, giving Cannonball his first touch of the sporting world’s ultimate prize.

In glorious sunshine, the day’s second scheduled game was played first, as Andy was delayed due to another feline-existential crisis. Go Flat Out (Reg playing in the absence of Gonad) succumbed 2-7 to the soon-to-be champions, Stormballs.

The next game saw Banker avoid the Asti by consigning the Sultans of Swing, 7-4, to what would ordinarily have been the Asti play-off.

The Killer B’s have sacked their coach after a scheduling mix-up saw them miss The Big Day entirely. Yes, instead of fighting the good fight to avoid the Asti, Brad and Barney sank their season by blissfully floating in their respective float pods at a wellness retreat, thereby giving Motherchucker and Sultans of Swing free passes to avoid the Asti with 7-0 forfeit results.

It should be noted that Barney has gone from zero to hero and back to zero in the space of three seasons.

Rawalpindi Express once again turned up claiming to be injured – something about a shoulder injury, but he didn’t look too crook. He said he was intending to play left-handed and asked his first opponents, Pizza Express, whether they would be so kind as to do the same.

The minor premiers thanked him for the offer, but declined, opting to play in the usual way, pointing out that RE didn’t have a note from a doctor or anything to corroborate his claimed incapacity.

SuperMario and Handy Andy (playing sans Buzz) started with a two-point advantage for having been minor premiers.

Those two freebie points were as close as they came, the left-handed RE prevailing 7-2.

Although PE were still in the contest despite the loss, the TV commentators agreed that failing to score a point against an opponent playing with his non-dominant hand was probably not the start they were after.

Andy and SuperMario lifted a bit in their next game, and managed to dispatch Banker 7-4.

The other semi final was another 7-4 result, this time with Motherchucker putting paid to Go Flat Out’s season in a battle that included one end played on concrete paving.

The first preliminary final saw Motherchucker, his tail in the air after winning his tussle with Reg, pitted against Rawalpindi Express.

Ever the optimist, RE asked Mochu whether he would be so sporting as to play with his non-dominant hand. Yeah nah.

The result was an 8-1 victory for Motherchucker, which, according to the TV commentators, gave him a slot in the grand final for the sixth time since his last championship in 2007. Would 2024 be his year?

The second prelim saw the day’s closest game, with the minor premier Pizza Express taking on the second-placed Stormballs.

This was a contest that rollicked, pitched and rolled in the late afternoon light.

There was wildlife.

There were interruptions from more domestic specimens who were clearly keen to get close to their human heroes.

Eventually, Cannonball and Stormboy proved too good for Motherchucker, seizing the championship a comfortable 7-3 victory.

The Stolichnaya Cup for Shot of the Day was unanimously awarded to Stormin’ Norman Hound Dog Taylor.