The 389th anniversary of the Battle of The Slaak was commemorated in fine fashion by the AATBL at Rottnest on a sunny weekend in September 2020. The few tossers who did not attend might have been slaaking off. It’s hard to say. Probably easier to say if you’re Dutch.
Those who did attend stayed in the finest accommodation that the eastern end of Rottnest has to offer, in a sprawling palatial villa at Kingstown, with majestic views of Governor’s Circle.
The good people from Main Roads really got into the swing of the whole military reenactment thing, dressing in ancient uniforms and blocking the road to and from our villa, making it very clear that “None shall pass”. We understood that they had a role to play in the re-enactment, so we took the lack of access to and from our villa in the jovial spirit in which it was intended. These Road Warriors adopted a “take-no-prisoners” approach, which was probably fortunate, because being taken prisoner by a road crew would probably not have been as much fun as it sounds.
There was, of course, a re-enactment of some of the actual naval battle, with the Morning Tide Marauders managing to stave off a cunning attack from the Storm Surge Sea-Monkeys. When the Sea-Monkeys’ boarding party crept aboard and demanded that Rear Admiral Digger surrender his cabin boy, Digger cunningly complied, promptly handing over a puzzled and pyjama-clad Buzz Lightbeer, before going back to sleep.
To celebrate the capture of his prize, Serge carried out a victory lap of the island in Storm Surge the next morning, with Buzz made to stand at the bow, sending video footage of the whole trip live to his YouTube feed, while singing sea shanties.
Fortunately, those enduring this embarrassing spectacle did have the distraction of seeing several whales on the journey. They were heard to cry, “Look! A whale” or “Wo-ho! There’s another one!” although some suggested that they might just have been trying to make Buzz feel less self-conscious.
Mindful of the fact that hotels did not feature at all in the Battle of the Slaak, the RIA closed the hotel for the whole weekend and most of us were very grateful for such keen attention to detail. Who needs food and alcohol to be served conveniently when holidaying with one’s friends?
On the Saturday morning, Brad emerged from his room and announced that he was going for the Silliest Outfit prize. He was disappointed to learn that no arrangements had been made for any such prize. Reg spent some time consoling him, pointing out that he has been a silly dresser for most of his life and has had to get used to very seldom winning prizes for his efforts. Brad was initially critical of the organising committee for this oversight, but he cheered up after three or four nips of vodka and didn’t mention it very much after that.
Five brave souls took part in a spirited mini-golf tournament on Saturday afternoon. It wasn’t easy, but Serge, RE, Banker and Digger eventually managed to let Barney win (Barney coming home with a course record of 162 over the 18 holes).
Huge congratulations must go to Digger and the organising committee for arranging for the Dockers to win a game of footy while we were on the island. Justin Longmuir and others have been trying in vain to arrange for them to win games for ages, so it’s clearly no mean feat. This brilliant strategy meant that all of the undesirables on the island were in The Governor’s Bar for several hours, leaving the rest of us to enjoy the beauty of the island and the spectacular weather in peace. Fantastic.
