It’s bad enough that President HRH Prince Andrew II chose a locus bocci in bloody Fremantle. For him to then fail to turn up to play caused many of the players, crowd, and assembled media folk to worry about the great man’s wellbeing. Was he sick? Was he having another feline existential emergency? Had he been stapled to a wall yet again by that gang of kids from his street?

Yes, it turns out he had indeed been stapled to a wall (by his clothing) in South Terrace. Fortunately, he was eventually able to get a hand free to answer his phone, and he explained his predicament and asked his teammate, Brad, to pass on his apology.

In the day’s first game, Artificial Indifference (RE playing sans Stormboy) beat Barnballs (Barney minus Cannonball, 7-1.

There was a similarly clear result when Motherchucker took down Go Flat Out – or Buzz Off, 7-1.

That was one of Mochu’s two big wins on the day, as he also whipped The Big LeBocce (Supermario playing unencumbered by Serge), 7-2.

Fortunately for The Big LeBocce, neither Stella nor Banker turned up, so TBL took home a 7-0 forfeit.

In GFOOBO’s other game, Gonad and Reg (Buzz couldn’t make it as he’s still in prison) had a win, taking down Barnballs, 7-4.

The day’s closest game saw RE snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, when the ice-cool Brad (in the absence of his stapled partner Andy) came from behind to pip Artificial Indifference, 7-6.