The final round of the 2024 home-and-away season saw some fascinating results.

Sultans of Swing (Stella playing without Serge) started well, with an 8-0 blitzing of Stormballs (Stormboy in the absence of Cannonball).

However, Stella’s effort against Go Flat Out was less successful, GFO prevailing 7-0.

Rawalpindi Express claimed to be injured and even wore a sling to try to make his ruse more believable. He went so far as to ask Gonad to play him left-handed, and Gonad graciously agreed.

All of RE’s conniving, however, came to nought. Well, not quite nought, but Gonad unleashed a succession of mollydooker foxings to usurp RE 8-5.

RE’s other scheduled game was against Banker, who was away having his belly-button pierced, so RE pocketed the forfeit 7-0. From RE’s perspective, the forfeit was very useful indeed, as he was able to swap ladder positions with Banker, and avoid the Asti playoffs by percentage.

SuperMario had turned up ready to play, despite the fact that his Pizza Express compadres, Buzz and Andy, were AWOL once again. Their one scheduled game, however, took no time at all, as it emerged that Pizza Express was another beneficiary of Banker’s cosmetic surgery appointment, gratefully taking the 7-0 forfeit score all the way to the minor premiership.

President Motherchucker had a day of mixed fortunes. After his first game, resulting in a 0-8 loss to Killer B’s, some were asking whether the controversies during the week about the publication of fake news about the looming presidential election had rattled our Dear Leader.

Those thoughts were laid to rest when Mochu comfortably accounted for Stormballs (7-2), with Stormballs’ two losses on the day giving them second place on the ladder, instead of the minor premiership.

At season’s end, we can also see the benefit received by teams who had opponents forfeit (0-7)during the year. This table shows which playing entities benefitted from a forfeit, and how many times.

At the the end of the home-and-away season, Pizza Express is minor premier, and Stormballs are second. Respectively, they had the most, and equal-second-most forfeits in their favour during the season.

In second-last and last places respectively were Motherchucker and Sultans of Swing. They were the only playing entities that that did not score from a forfeit all year.

The finals await.