Sir Justice Airwick says he had to make a deal with his parole officer to enable him to turn up to Allen Park. Had Serge not secured that deal (which is said to involve sildenafil and a toffee apple) he would have had to keep his appointment cleaning cars at Police HQ, and the Burley Hurlers would have forfeited, instead of them gaining the benefit of Motherchucker’s forfeit.

Serge knows the benefit of an opponent not showing up to play. At the end of Round 3, the table of net forfeit scores looks like this:

No sweet deal for Mochu, though. Although he had the benefit of a forfeit in round one, he chose to stay in bed for Round 3, and took home two 0-7 forfeits, giving him the net -7 balance.

Better than Charles did turn up. Brad and SuperMario explained that their very presence, in stark contrast Mochu’s failure to show up, justifies their epithet.

Not only did they front up, they had two glorious victories, narrowly beating AFL (Banker flying solo) 7-6, but more comfortably accounting for the Second Eleven, 7-1.

In his post-game interview, Reg claimed that the spirit of Mochu was taunting him from afar, and that this put him off his game. Asked to elaborate, Reg claimed that he didn’t so much have a monkey on his back as a Mochu on his shoulder.

In AFL’s other game, Banker comfortably beat the cellar-dwelling Dukes of Normandy (Stella but no Stormboy), 7-2.

As those who turned up at Round 3 failed to take photos, the website elves have dug the following shots out of the archives for your viewing pleasure.