James “Moo-Cow” Mitchell was the premier of WA 99 years ago. Round 7, the second last of the 2018 home-and-away season, unfolded at the park in South Perth named in Moo-Cow’s honour.

The day was full of coincidences. On occasions during Moo-Cow’s political career, many said that he lost his way. Eerily, several players also lost their way when trying to find the park, despite this being the age of sat-nav.

Mitchell used to work in the Bank of Western Australia, now Bankwest. Our own Reg also worked there, but perhaps not at the same time. The West Australian is said to have supported Mitchell. Uncannily, SuperMario says he has read the West Australian more than once.

Mitchell is said to have strolled along St Georges Terrace like a successful country banker. Our own Banker is also said to have walked along St Georges Terrace several times, albeit with varying degrees of success.

Although the players did spend quite some time rabbiting on about Mitchell, moo-cows, secession and the merits of keeping fish bait in one’s pockets, one can only have so much fun before one has to get down to the serious business of all-terrain bocce. Many players and most members of the press were keen to get an indication of which teams will fall into the Asti play-offs, so we played.

The Stellar Diggers won one of three games, beating Mobank 8-5, but losing 2-7 to Mario’s Gonads (Gonad flying solo) and 2-7 to Dog’s Balls Buzz (also represented by a player on his Pat Malone, PrezBuzz). Gonad received the gift of a 7-0 forfeit from the Big Brad Pineapples, who failed to find their way to the locus bocci.

Also sharing in the spoils of the BBP forfeit was Dog’s Balls Buzz, so DBB went home with a recorded tally of one win from two games.

Reg Barney was represented by Reg alone, as Barney was once again bouncing across the Nullarbor on a pogo stick, raising money for Landladies Without Boarders. Reg looked agitated all day, and some suggested that he’s very keen for Reg Barney to make the top three and avoid the Asti playoff. Despite any anxiety, he managed to win both of his games, despatching DBB 7-2 and Resurgence 7-5.

Resurgence, which was at the bottom of the ladder after round one, made short work of Mobank’s other game, defeating Mobank 7-1 and taking top spot on the ladder with one home-and-away round to play.