Reg vs Cannonball

Reg: So, some Swede has won a Nobel Prize for coming up with the sport of plogging, which I’m told is so named because it combines picking up litter and jogging. Plogging. What are your thoughts?

Cannonball: Bloody hell. That sucks. I’ve been into these combined sports for years. How many Nobel Prizes did I get? Fucking Swedes.

Reg: So you’re into combined sports as well? Which ones?

Cannonball: Too many to remember.  There are heaps. Let me think… I invented starting.

Reg: What, you mean with a starter pistol?

Cannonball: No, it’s a combined sport, like plogging [uses air quotes and rolls eyes], only better. It’s a combination of speculating about Tasmania and farting. It’s really cool, but you need to eat a lot of vegetables.

Reg: I can imagine. Any others?

Cannonball: Oh, yeah. Heaps! I quite like stunning. That’s singing about tetanus while running.

Reg: OK. Yes. I can see that one taking off.

Cannonball: You’ve heard of thinking. That’s talking about herpes while drinking and more recently, I’ve been heavily into cofoilet.

Reg: I’ll bite. What’s cofoilet?

Cannonball: Come on. It’s checking out Facebook on the toilet. It’s huge.

Reg: Ah, of course. I’ve heard that’s quite popular, but are you sure it’s a sport?

Cannonball: OK, that one might not make the Olympics, but I am proud to say that spimming has a long and distinguished history in the sporting world.

Reg: What’s spimming?

Cannonball: It’s secretly peeing while swimming.

Reg: Of course. So, do you have a message for our dear readers?

Cannonball: Other than suggesting that they not swim behind me in the pool?

Reg: Well, yes, OK, but I was hoping for something a little more cheerful.

Cannonball: OK. Here’s a useful piece of advice for young players. Cofoilet’s great, but try not to drop your phone down the toilet. It can get expensive.

Reg: This has been an education. Many thanks.

Cannonball: Ah, yes, thanking. I forgot to mention thanking.

Reg: That’s OK. We’re out of time.