Although most teams had no difficulty finding their way to the gazetted locus bocci of Perry Lakes for Round 2, Stella’s new technogizmo, the Samsung Kero 1.5, seems to have led him astray. Although the Kero 1.5 is said to represent the very latest in kerosene-fuelled mobile phone technology, it has emerged that Stella still might not have taken the most direct route to the 3pm fixture.

When Serge called to ask him where he was at 4.08pm, an out-of-breath Stella explained that, as soon as he had finished firing up the pedal-powered starter motor for the navigation system, he hoped to be able to calibrate the theodolite and then punch in the published coordinates, to ascertain the most direct route to Challenge Stadium. 

Stella went on to explain that, according to the manual, the Kero 1.5 works best when the operator has one foot in a tub of lard and he said that every time he removed his foot to operate the pedals, the pilot light went out out, which wasn’t helping. Serge explained that we were actually at Perry Lakes, not Challenge Stadium, to which Stella responded by asking why everyone had gone to the same wrong place.

Long story short, Stella managed to arrive before darkness had fully set in and he then powered-down the Kero 1.5. After the smoke had cleared, he pointed out that the published locus bocci map reference was very clearly the subject of Russian interference, and he proceeded to play his part in the Stellar Diggers’ three games.

Although the Stellar Diggers had three losses from their three games, it would be fair to point out that two were close. They lost 6-7 to the Big Brad Pineapples (BP sans Brad), 6-8 to Mobank and 2-7 to Dog’s Balls.

Despite the hype, Mobank lost it’s other game, going down 5-7 to the in-form Mario’s Gonads. The only team without a loss on the day, Mario’s Gonads also defeated Dog’s Balls 7-5.

 

BP won two from three, defeating Resurgence 7-2, but losing 1-7 to Reg Barney (Reg flying solo as Barney was said to be in hospital after yet another accident with his trouser zipper).

 

Reg managed to win one from two, losing his other game 2-7 to Resurgence.