BP: Many people are asking questions [uses air quotes] “in the interests of balance”. In the interests of balance, what do you think of tightrope-walking?

Stella: I’m strongly in favour of it.

BP: So, you’re not a fence-sitter, when it comes to tightrope-walking?

Stella: Well, they both require some balance, but yes, I’m not.

BP: Are you sure?

Stella: Yes, I’m not.

BP: Not a fence-sitter or not sure?

Stella: You’re over-complicating this. Like most dual citizens, I’m in favour of tightrope-walking.

BP: Have you ever tried it?

Stella: No but…

BP: So how can you be in favour of it?

Stella: You don’t need to try something to be in favour of it. Tightrope-walking is like gay marriage in that respect. I’m not gay, but I support gay marriage.

BP: So you think the government should legalise tightrope-walking? Won’t that lead to large numbers of people walking along power lines instead of walking along the footpath? Won’t people start walking along fences?

Stella: As opposed to sitting on the fence? There is already a large community of tightrope walkers in Australia, in fact they’re all over the world.

BP: OK. Staying with world issues, according to Donald Trump, many of the antelopes in Africa are not real. Do you think there is problem with fake gnus?

Stella: I’m not so sure, but I like the fact that he says he will drain the swamp.

BP: So, you think that reclaiming wetlands for housing development in the low-lying parts of Washington DC should be a priority? What about social inequality, health-care, gun control, global warming or reviving the US economy? Shouldn’t he prioritise some of those issues?

Stella: Well, any one of those would occupy a lot of his time. Let’s not forget he was elected with mandate to drain the swamp. He could start with a plebiscite. I’ve heard that’s a thing now.

BP: Thanks for your time. I’ve learned a lot. Perhaps we could do this again soon?

Stella: Any time.