Digger: I see that you’ve written on your form that you’re concerned about AI. Are you concerned about robots taking our jobs?

Gonad: No, that’s not what I said. I’m concerned about the ai, the South American three-toed sloth.

Digger: So, you think South American sloths will take over our jobs?

Gonad: No, fuck-knuckle. Maybe a sloth could take over your job, but my concern is for their continued survival. I was recently very disturbed to read that there are no surviving ai in the Perth metropolitan area.

Digger: Why do you think that is?

Gonad: It’s pretty clear that their habitat has been taken away by the Roe 8 works and the clearing of land for the new stadium.

Digger: The stadium is being built on land reclaimed from a rubbish dump.

Gonad: Nobody said sloths are fussy eaters. What’s your point?

Digger: Maybe you should look into artificial intelligence. It’s probably as close to any kind of intelligence as you’re going to get. It also says here that you’re keen to get into time travel.

Gonad: Yeah. I’ve got the time-travel app “It’s Time” on my iPhone.

Digger: I haven’t heard of that. If it’s called “It’s Time”, are you sure it’s not just a clock or something to do with the 1972 campaign to elect Labor federally?

Gonad: Hang on [checks phone]. Yeah… It’s a clock. And I paid $1.49 for it! Bugger. I’m sorry. I thought it was my ticket to another dimension.

Digger: Well, you know what they say. You can’t judge a book by reading it and carefully considering its contents.

Gonad: What? Look, if we must change the subject, some sort of purposeful analysis of a book actually seems like a pretty sensible approach to me. I suppose you could rely on book reviews, but you might come across as a little under-prepared, once again, at your book club. Better to do some preparation first, I reckon. You know – a stitch in time.

Digger: Ah, yes. I’m glad you’ve raised the tatty state of the space-time continuum and the fact that it does seem to need a few stitches.

Gonad: What the fuck are you on? I’m having another look at this app.

Digger: It’s 3.15.

Gonad: No, no. Maybe it’s more than a clock. I just want to go back three minutes. If I can do that, I’ll walk the other way and avoid this interview altogether.

Digger: Thanks for your time.