Another interview with Big Pineapple

Banker: I’m told you’re a supporter of the activist group People in Favour of a Fair Go for Accountants Who Don’t have the Right Change for Parking Machines on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Big Pineapple: Yes, I will always support a worthy cause.

Banker: Isn’t your scope rather narrow? Why limit the fair go to accountants? What about bookkeepers, for example?

Big Pineapple: Bloody bookkeepers. Everybody loves bookkeepers. What have you got against accountants?

Banker: Nothing at all. I know some lovely accountants. My point is, why limit the group’s undoubtedly worthwhile work to benefit only accountants? And why only on Tuesdays and Thursdays?

Big Pineapple: Look, this is a very important charity. It exists to provide coins, in mixed denominations, to accountants all over the country so that, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, they can park safely, without fear of being persecuted by some jumped-up neo-Nazi inspector in a council uniform with military-style epaulets and ticket printer, lurking in the bushes, waiting to pounce, simply because they don’t have the right change on hand.

Banker: Fair enough, but what about credit cards?

Big Pineapple: How do you mean?

Banker: Don’t most parking machines take credit cards nowadays?

Big Pineapple: Are you seriously suggesting that we should provide credit cards as well? Do you know the paperwork that’s involved in getting someone a credit card? That’s absurd. In any event, if we started offering credit cards, our name would become unwieldy. We would then be People in Favour of a Fair Go for Accountants Who Don’t have the Right Change or Credit Cards for Parking Machines on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It’s too long. It would turn people away. I’m guessing that you’ve had no marketing experience.

Banker: Why only Tuesdays and Thursdays?

Big Pineapple: Look, we’re all volunteers. It’s hard enough to do this two days a week. Do you think we have the resources to provide a full-time service? Bugger me.

Banker: How many people in your group?

Big Pineapple: Look, we have a strong membership of enthusiastic volunteers, young Australians who are keen to do their bit for their community and for this great country.

Banker: How many?

Big Pineapple: Just me, but I’m always on the look-out for good people.

Banker: Stick to the haiku.