Another interview with the irrepressible SuperMario

Serge: I hear you’re on a special diet this season.

S&M: You bet. I’m on the Realistic Paleo Diet.

Serge: Realistic paleo? How does that work?

S&M: Well, cavemen were actually not as stophisticated as we’ve been led to believe. They had no self-discipline at all and they really didn’t like dieticians telling them what they couldn’t eat. So, I eat whatever I want, whenever I want. No bullshit restrictions. It’s realistic.

Serge: They had dieticians?

S&M: Apparently not many, but that’s even more of a reason why they actually ate whatever the hell they wanted. Think it through. Would you want to be a dietician and go up to a hungry caveman who’s about to eat a mammoth’s leg and tell him that cholesterol is bad and he shouldn’t eat it? He’d probably grunt and shove your clipboard up your arse.

Serge: Fair call. Looking at what happened at the Oscars presentation ceremony, do you think we should still trust PwC to collate the votes for the AATBL’s presidential elections?

S&M: Hmmm. I’m not sure that we should blame PwC for the unpredicted result that came from the 2016 election. Yes, the polls suggested that the Banker would get up in a canter, but maybe Buzz Lightbeer’s fondness for social media resonated with the ordinary man. Maybe that’s democracy.

Serge: Or maybe you’re just resonating out of your arse again. Do you remember the beginning of the universe?

S&M: Oh, shit yeah. Definitely. It was pretty cool. I was quite young, but I remember that things were really cheap.

Serge: But there weren’t any shops or any money. Not only that, science tells us that life itself did not exist.

S&M: What’s your point?

Serge: Moving on, if your team were a set of salt and pepper shakers, would you be salt or pepper?

S&M: I see where this is going. This is just another example of the ABC’s leftist agenda. You want me to say “salt”, so you can pretend that it’s a metaphor for white dominance and you can imply that I’m racist.

Serge: Even if that were correct, I have nothing to do with the ABC.

S&M: Well, you watch it, don’t you?

Serge: Yes, but…

S&M: There you go. You must think I’m stupid.

Serge: OK. If I must.