An interview with Digger

Brad: Hey, thanks for doing this.

Digger: That’s OK. When did you change your name anyway? I was just getting used to calling you “Shooter” when you became “The Rock”. Why change it again?

Brad: Well, it seemed like the right thing to do. The league has become a bit callipygian recently, so I thought change was exactly what we needed.

Digger: Callipygian?

Brad: You like that? It means “languid or slow moving”.

Digger: Actually, it means “having shapely buttocks”. Although it’s a very useful word, it’s not a term that many would use when describing the AATBL. Anyway, enough about buttocks. You’re supposed to be interviewing me.

Brad: Yes. OK. Thanks for completing your interview-preparation form. I see that, in your list of your five favourite albums, you included a few that I wouldn’t have expected, like the John Laws country album, “You’ve Never Been Trucked Like This Before”. Tell us about that one.

Digger: Well, it’s an Australian classic, obviously. I reckon Lawsie’s right up there with Barnsie and Farnsie. Except, I suppose, that Lawsie’s older, wealthier, less talented, more full of himself and slightly more to the right of the political centre. I think his music has a timeless appeal to everyday working Australians.

Brad: [Gagging sound] So, the three callipygian women on the cover had nothing to do with it.

Digger: Bums again? This interview seems to have a recurring theme. What else have you got?

Brad: I see that you and SuperMario have called your new franchise “Shot Puts”. You’re not worried that you might be known as “Short Putts”?

Digger: Actually, it’s “Pot Shots”. Not hard to remember.

Brad: I agree. And it’s evocative. It’s got some larrikin appeal – “We take pot shots instead of taking aim” – and it’s catchy. Was it the product of exhaustive market research or did you come up with “Shit Pots” on your own, like, because it’s hard to buy good pot in Perth?

Digger: It’s “Pot Shots”.

Brad: Sorry. So, I guess “Pot Shots” is just a combination of your favourite vices? You like smoking pot and Mario likes drinking shots?

Digger: Yes. That’s it. You’ve nailed it. Brilliant! What a legend. There’s no fooling you, that’s for sure.

Brad: Arsehole.

Digger: There’s that recurring theme again.