An interview with Banker

Reg:  So, you and I are back on the same team. We haven’t played together since the Ball Boys lost the 2015 grand final. Let’s hope 2017 can take us that one step further.

Banker: I also played in the 2016 grand final. Your team took home the Asti. I certainly hope you can lift your game.

Reg: I’m told you’re deeply religious. That doesn’t sound like the Banker I know.

Banker: I haven’t always been a god-botherer. I suppose it was The Miracle of the Asti that really turned my mind to the fact that there must be a higher power, some supreme being watching over us and performing inexplicable deeds.

Reg: What’s The Miracle of the Asti?

Banker: Well, you know, turning water into wine is a bit passé, but we have Asti Spumante that somehow turned into Asti Riccadonna. One wine into a different wine. It’s amazing. That could only be divine intervention. From the moment I found out about it, I’ve been a believer. I’m now deeply spiritual. I go to church and shit.

Reg: So how do you explain the fact that the Asti has now gone missing? Was that an act of God?

Banker: No. It was an act of Cannonball. He drank it. Or sold it.

Reg: So, your faith hasn’t softened your infamous grumpy-old-man persona?

Banker: Fuck off.

Reg: I hear you’re a huge fan of country music.

Banker: Massive fan.

Reg: So who are your favourite country performers?

Banker: Ramones, Abba, Wagner, The Corrs. I love them all.

Reg: But they’re not even country acts. Do you know what country music is?

Banker: [Sighs] All music comes from at least one country. The Ramones’ music comes from the USA. All of Wagner’s music came from Germany. Abba’s from Sweden. The Corrs are from Ireland. It’s all country music, Einstein.

Reg: So, what are we going to call our new team?

Banker: How about “The Silent Majority”?

Reg: Won’t everybody else claim to be a member?

Banker: Mine is a broad church.