RE: Greetings, Oh Large and Fruity One. Your brow is furrowed. Do I displease you?

BP: Sorry. The Olympics are coming up and I’m in training. I’ve been selected again for the open freestyle grimace and the standard synchronised frown.

RE: Congratulations. That’s fantastic, but do I detect that there was actually some displeasure in that last frown?

BP: Well, yes, a bit. I’d been watching TV just now and I have to say I’m annoyed at the amount of smut on the public broadcaster. They had the federal treasurer on and he was going on again about “stimulating the private sector”. Can you believe that? We don’t need to know what he gets up to after hours. It’s just not necessary [frowns].

RE: Speaking of TV, greyhounds have been in the news. Have you ever been involved in greyhound racing?

BP: Yes, I did participate in the 80s and 90s, but I wasn’t very good at it.

RE: You lost money?

BP: No, I kept getting beaten. Those dogs are bloody fast. Have you seen them?

RE: Moving on to one of your recent successes, I’m told you’re publishing your second book of haiku. How’s it coming along?

BP: Yes, I write haikus

 Some say my work is obscure

 Clitoris

RE: I see. Nothing to frown about there. How much is the book?

BP: What do you mean?

RE: Your book. What’s the retail price?

BP: The price? How would that work?

RE: You know. If I go to a shop or to your website, what amount of currency would you require from me to persuade you to let me have a copy of your book?

BP: Well, I suppose we could come to some sort of arrangement. So, you would give me some money and, upon receipt of that money, I would give you a copy of my book?

RE: Yes, that’s the standard protocol.

BP: Bugger me. That’s a great idea. That could work!

RE: You didn’t make a lot from your first book, did you?

BP: Please excuse me. I have to go.