RE: I’m told that you’re a plastic surgeon. Is that true? Are you really made of plastic?

Serge: Yes, I’m entirely synthetic.

RE: No shit? Well perhaps you can answer some questions for me anyway. Is it true that getting shot with a shotgun can give you warts and bad breath?

Serge: Absolutely. Those are some of the little-known side effects of a shotgun blast.

RE: Wow. So shouldn’t it be illegal to shoot people with shotguns? Or at least they could put warnings on the packages and pictures of people with warts and bad breath.

Serge: You’re not the first to suggest that.

RE: So you don’t think I’ll get a Nobel Prize?

Serge: Probably not.

RE: Shit. OK. Well, let’s talk about the meaning of all-terrain bocce.

Serge: In the context of the development of the postmodernist game in which the player explores local, cultural and relative values, having accepted that there is no universal “truth”?

RE: Yes, that context would be good.

Serge: OK. Fire away.

RE: Right. So. With the player exploring the universe and stuff, what does all-terrain bocce mean to you?

Serge: It’s, like, a game.

RE: Well, yes. It’s exactly like a game, but you spoke about all-terrain bocce and postmodernism and truth and stuff. What about truth?

Serge: Truth? All-terrain bocce is, like, a game. Truly.

RE: Thanks for that. I think that’s all we have time for.

Serge: I’d just like to add that no man is an island.

RE: Shut up.